More Musings

I read 2 Timothy slowly today.  I have the time since Libby and Julia have headed to Sumy, and I am here alone.  I never really noticed how strongly the theme of suffering is emphasized, not to mention ideas such as "times of difficulty" or "persecution".  Libby and I talk frequently about how little we are called upon to suffer for Christ. Are we somehow dodging the opportunities being placed before us?  Are we sitting on the sidelines?  Is God just being merciful to us and allowing us to enjoy a quiet and peaceful life?  

So now, here we in Ukraine, doing a work of mercy commanded by God, and things haven't gone according to my vision of efficiency.  I knew going in that this would cost a good bit of time and money, and I had been warned to be patient with the changing directions of the process.  Why, then, have I been so easily annoyed (okay, that is a euphemism - angry and upset) when things have not gone according to my ideal of how this trip should unfold?  

Here are some thoughts that came out of my reading today.  Thought #1 - In order to suffer for Christ, you actually have to suffer!  You can't theoretically suffer - you have to actually feel the pain a bit.  Two of the bigger idols in my life are: a desire to have control over my circumstances (time), and an easy life (money).  Both of these idols are being seriously attacked on this trip.  Thought #2 - suffering doesn't come without an antagonist.  Someone must oppose you for you to suffer.  If everything goes right, and you are surrounded only by people who love you, that is called a party.  A party may be fun, but it is not the environment in which one suffers.  So then, what should I think of the person opposing me?  Should I hate him?  Libby has rightly encouraged us to pray for the person who is slowing us down.  But even more, I need to understand that that person is an instrument in God's hand to effect change in my life, and to carry out God's purposes.  I could easily find myself railing against the very thing God is using for my good.  Thought #3 - suffering involves loss.  It is not true suffering if it does not cost you something.  It could be physical, or material, or whatever, but it must be real and tangible.  Consider the things Paul was suffering - physical abuse, loss of freedom, loss of status.  These were real, and yet he enjoined Timothy to "share in suffering for the gospel".   Thought #4 - I need to learn to rejoice in the face of suffering.  One of my favorite passages, because it is so challenging, is the second half of Acts chapter 5.  The apostles are told not to preach, they do anyway, they are dragged in before the Sanhedrin, and are beaten and released.  What do they do next?  Do they go to their friends and whine about how unfair the mean old Pharisees are?  Do they take to their blog seeking sympathy for their plight?  How about this?  They rejoiced that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the Name.  So here is my epiphany from this morning.  God is granting me the opportunity, by taking over my time, and taking away more of my money than I had anticipated or desired, to suffer for Him. My response should be to rejoice and be thankful.  I get to participate in His plan, and I get to join Paul in his injunction to suffer for the gospel's sake.